2133hrs: Seems like this October's been pretty interesting for me. It's only the 21st and I've already chalked up 12 entries(including this). The average for the last 30 months(or so) has been about six entries per month. If I'm blogging twice as much as I usually do, then yes. This month's been really interesting(though I can't say the same bout my delivery). Fine, most if not all the posts have been about Bambi. And yes, she's gonna be mentioned in this entry as well.
If I had to pick the most interesting time of my life this year, this would be it. Ever since I started working there's been a furore of developments in my life. And I've only just completed the second week.
Things have been going so much better than I ever hoped with Bambi. We've talked every night in the past week. Which almost killed me. I've been staying up till way past 12 midnight talking to her and getting no more than 4 to 5 hours of sleep in the past week. On Thursday night the sweet little thing chased me off to bed. And to get me off the com, she went offline. But I really needed that good night's rest. My body's been protesting! But conversations with her have been so enjoyable that time just passes by without much notice from me. Oh, and I spoke to the adorable thing on Thursday. I can't describe how good it felt to hear her voice again after a cold turkey week without it. I missed the girl. Which I think is the contributing reason for me being sick the past week. Is it possible? That one can end up being sick because of a girl?
Oh, did I mention she left a nice testimonial on friendster? Yeah, she did. It seems that everything she does makes her so adorable. Even the testimonial she gave was so funny, I had to read it a few times. So now do you get why Bambi's appropriate? I've been telling myself to play it cool and not be found staring at my handphone eagerly anticipating every message from her. Like I did today. I would(more than a few times) glance at my handphone wondering when the message would come, if ever. I finally gave up and messaged her in the evening. I keep telling myself I miss her too much and for no good reason. I need to be cool about it. I don't want to be caught expecting things to happen(which may or may not). I don't want to read everything she does and gauge how she feels about me. Yes, I want her to like me. But I also want to know her before I jump headlong into another disaster waiting to happen.
Which best describes the last two relationships I've had. I spent the first not trusting the girl. The second, let's just say after two months, I couldn't wait to get away from the person. But the lack of courage had me sticking around for 6 months. I couldn't overcome the fear of being alone. But I'm glad that it's over. The time spent with that person was pretty terrible most of the time. I have never met anyone more demanding, self-fish or unappreciative. I spent a lot of money for flowers to be delivered to that person's office on V' day. The worst was she EXPECTED me to. Second was the unappreciative remarks I got in the evening. She said "who died?" when I asked if she liked the lilies I bought. She even had the cheek to demand for me to write entries about her. She demanded for the passion I had for beary. The more she asked for it, the less I wanted her in my blog. I am truly thankful it's over. I just wished I was smarter about it and took my friend's advice to break it off a lot earlier. I just hope to forget her asap. But that plan was set back a little when she smsed me outta the blue on Thursday night. I only read the message the next morning. It's been 3 months since I last talked to her and I've spent those 3 months forgetting bout my folly. I know I can forget about her completely. I succeeded with the first girl. I was so effective, that when I was asked for my first girlfriend's name, I spent 30 minutes sifting through the memory banks searching hard for the name. I honestly forgot the person existed. And it only took 2 years to forget that person. I just hope it'll happen soon with this ex. Cause when I saw the sms, I still recognised the number(yes, I deleted her number months ago from my phones). Dammit, it took awhile to remove all traces of her vile existence from my two handphones. I wished she didn't message me. Anyways enough talk about the horrible ex.
Yes, so I want to take things real slow with Bambi. I really do like her a lot. And I want things to work with her. I don't mind being good friends with her for the time being. And from the way she's been responding, I think I've still got the 'ol charm leftover from teenhood.
I have no idea why but on friendster this month, I've got 42 hits this month. It's a three fold jump compared to what I usually get. I don't use friendster much so I usually don't expect much activity there.
Bambi's online now and I very much want to initiate a conversation with her but I won't. I don't wanna be the hyper-active Jack Russell every time she's online. I'll wait. I'll be patient. I want to think with my head this time. I'm off to distract myself from Bambi. Maybe a game of C&C Generals might help.
It's been fun this month @ 2230hrs
