Summer Romance
2110hrs: Have you ever met someone who instantly sets off a particular song in your head? Yes, just like in the movies. It happened to me on Monday when I reported for my first day of work. Neil Sedaka's 'Laughter In The Rain' instantly hit me when I saw her. Along with a music video of a young couple enjoying a summer's day, chasing each other along green meadows with sunflowers aplenty. Sweet innocent love.
Everything stopped or went into instant slow-mo when I saw her. She's got such a cute smile, such a friendly persona and no matter what kinda day you're having, she'll light it up.
I'm so amused with myself. I'm acting like a little schoolboy who's having a little schoolboy crush. I just never thought I was still capable of innocent crushes. But she made it happen. Sneaking peeks at her over the cubicle. Noticing her walk past out of the corner of my eye. Watching her go about her work. And giggling on the inside.
I haven't had crushes since a lifetime ago. Fine, it's only been 5 years but it feels a lifetime ago. You know this crush helped me recall the good times I had with my crush a long time ago. I remember how I used to rush home from school just to get on the phone with Ada. Or how I'll always be waiting for her page(those were the pager days) which sometimes came with alpha-numeric messages attached. It was nice listening to her laugh at my jokes, or hearing how her day was, complaining about how bitchy her classmate was. It gave me an interesting insight on the typical day of a convent girl. It was funny listening to how her classmates did funny things to each other after P.E. classes(go figure). We talked pretty much everyday. If not for a few hours at least 15mins. The line between friends and more than friends were always blurred. And I spent 2-3 years genuinely trying to win her heart. Even though things ended badly between her and I, my lasting memory of her will always be of that Saturday / Sunday evening after mass. When she practically ran to me looking pretty in her pink top and jeans, giving me a big hug and telling me how much she missed me in front of all my friends. It was as good as a 16 year old could expect from a girl he's had a crush on forever. At the time we haven't talked for 2 weeks cause she went off on a holiday somewhere. That's the only image I keep of her and it's the only image I have of her(in my memory) considering I destroyed all her letters and pictures when things went south.
Here I am having a silly adolescent schoolboy crush again. I spent Monday and Tuesday admiring her from a distance wondering when I'll be able to introduce myself and actually put a name to this pretty lass. And on Wednesday morning, I found out she was leaving by end of the week. It really soured my morning. But a little while later I met her behind the filing cabinets and finally got a chance to introduce myself and get her name. Found out her age, which was surprising cause I thought she was my age. Oh no no, she doesn't look old or anything. It's just her height(which I like). She's 1.68m, which in my opinion is a good height for a girl. Well she's 4 years my junior(I could never tell) but it explains why I like her so much. She's just impossibly adorable. She really really is! Oh my god I'm talking like a schoolboy now. But anyways she invited me to lunch with her(along with colleagues, not alone, I only wish it were). Got to know more about her and there were just more to like. I admit it was really tough getting her to talk. My mind was on overdrive. And at the same time I was tired from sorting out the damned files all morning. And well, she's pretty boring(pretty being the operative here). I'm not blaming her, I just blame myself for not being able to keep the conversation going. I know that to keep a girl talking, you get her to talk about the stuff she likes to do. So I asked the question, "So what do you do for fun?". And she says, "Nothing, I just slack". I'm stumped. Although on hindsight I could've probably asked her what dramas she might like. *double sigh*
My boss knows about my silly crush. He's a really cool New Yorker and he puts me at ease. And he's been really patient and encouraging. Says I'm doing a good job and all. Anyways this morning I was standing over his desk to let him go over some stuff. His desk is just across from her. And he catches me sneaking glances at her. He just grins and says "Aye aye, I know what you're doing". What else could I do but to give that silly grin people give when they're busted. And he continues, "So you got her number yet? Better work fast, she's leaving on Friday". And I say I've got her MSN. Which doesn't work by the way! I was hoping to know her better in these last two days before she leaves. But it DOESN'T WORK!
Tomorrow's the last day I get to see her as she goes about her work. And the last time I get to see her 'oh so impossibly cute' pout when she's stressed. *sigh* I know, I'm acting like a schoolboy. Well that's what crushes do to you. And my adolescent crushes have taught me to just enjoy this shot of euphoria while it lasts. Crushes are meant to be enjoyed, it's an emotion you just let loose because it'll burn itself out pretty quickly. Like magnesium, it burns brilliantly if only for a few seconds.
In the last few days I've identified the 5 stages of a crush....
First comes euphoria. It just hits you like a tsunami wave when you see the person for the first time. And you spend most of this stage wondering what can be.
Second stage, strategy. You start identifying an opening to introduce yourself.
Third, rationality. Now you're quantifying your chances of hitting it off with her. You start telling yourself it's impossible a nice girl like this isn't attached yet. And you're like 1,304, 856, 654th in line vying for her attention
Fourth, despair. You're wondering when you'll be able to get a chance to really know her. This is indicative that things AREN'T going well. Basically, you're desperate(flopping about like a fish out of water).
Fifth, acceptance. You come to terms that there's a good man out there for her. You're just not the one. It's time to give up. And hope against hope the lucky bastard treats her well.
If you can't tell, I'm at the last stage. I'm getting off this tidal wave.
And here's a message to her even though I know she'll probably never see it....
F****(you've got a lovely name), it was really nice getting to know you this week. Though I wish there was more time. I didn't even get your name till yesterday. But thanks, I really enjoyed this crush I have on you. Don't worry, I'm a big boy about it. And I'm sure you've brought the Uncles in our office much joy with your company as well. Goodluck with your studies and I hope you really make it into advertising.
You've really made an old warhorse feel like a young wild stallion again. *smile*
A flower for the lovely sunshine girl
Laughter In The Rain by Neil Sedaka
Strolling along country roads with my baby
It starts to rain, it begins to pour
Without an umbrella were soaked to the skin
I feel a shiver run up my spine
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
After a while we run under a tree
I turn to her and she kisses me
There with the beat of the rain on the leaves
Softly she breathes and I close my eyes
Sharing our love under stormy skies
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
PS: About the title, yes I know it's autumn now. But in Singapore, it's summer all year round alright?
I don't want her to leave *sob* @ 2225hrs
Everything stopped or went into instant slow-mo when I saw her. She's got such a cute smile, such a friendly persona and no matter what kinda day you're having, she'll light it up.
I'm so amused with myself. I'm acting like a little schoolboy who's having a little schoolboy crush. I just never thought I was still capable of innocent crushes. But she made it happen. Sneaking peeks at her over the cubicle. Noticing her walk past out of the corner of my eye. Watching her go about her work. And giggling on the inside.
I haven't had crushes since a lifetime ago. Fine, it's only been 5 years but it feels a lifetime ago. You know this crush helped me recall the good times I had with my crush a long time ago. I remember how I used to rush home from school just to get on the phone with Ada. Or how I'll always be waiting for her page(those were the pager days) which sometimes came with alpha-numeric messages attached. It was nice listening to her laugh at my jokes, or hearing how her day was, complaining about how bitchy her classmate was. It gave me an interesting insight on the typical day of a convent girl. It was funny listening to how her classmates did funny things to each other after P.E. classes(go figure). We talked pretty much everyday. If not for a few hours at least 15mins. The line between friends and more than friends were always blurred. And I spent 2-3 years genuinely trying to win her heart. Even though things ended badly between her and I, my lasting memory of her will always be of that Saturday / Sunday evening after mass. When she practically ran to me looking pretty in her pink top and jeans, giving me a big hug and telling me how much she missed me in front of all my friends. It was as good as a 16 year old could expect from a girl he's had a crush on forever. At the time we haven't talked for 2 weeks cause she went off on a holiday somewhere. That's the only image I keep of her and it's the only image I have of her(in my memory) considering I destroyed all her letters and pictures when things went south.
Here I am having a silly adolescent schoolboy crush again. I spent Monday and Tuesday admiring her from a distance wondering when I'll be able to introduce myself and actually put a name to this pretty lass. And on Wednesday morning, I found out she was leaving by end of the week. It really soured my morning. But a little while later I met her behind the filing cabinets and finally got a chance to introduce myself and get her name. Found out her age, which was surprising cause I thought she was my age. Oh no no, she doesn't look old or anything. It's just her height(which I like). She's 1.68m, which in my opinion is a good height for a girl. Well she's 4 years my junior(I could never tell) but it explains why I like her so much. She's just impossibly adorable. She really really is! Oh my god I'm talking like a schoolboy now. But anyways she invited me to lunch with her(along with colleagues, not alone, I only wish it were). Got to know more about her and there were just more to like. I admit it was really tough getting her to talk. My mind was on overdrive. And at the same time I was tired from sorting out the damned files all morning. And well, she's pretty boring(pretty being the operative here). I'm not blaming her, I just blame myself for not being able to keep the conversation going. I know that to keep a girl talking, you get her to talk about the stuff she likes to do. So I asked the question, "So what do you do for fun?". And she says, "Nothing, I just slack". I'm stumped. Although on hindsight I could've probably asked her what dramas she might like. *double sigh*
My boss knows about my silly crush. He's a really cool New Yorker and he puts me at ease. And he's been really patient and encouraging. Says I'm doing a good job and all. Anyways this morning I was standing over his desk to let him go over some stuff. His desk is just across from her. And he catches me sneaking glances at her. He just grins and says "Aye aye, I know what you're doing". What else could I do but to give that silly grin people give when they're busted. And he continues, "So you got her number yet? Better work fast, she's leaving on Friday". And I say I've got her MSN. Which doesn't work by the way! I was hoping to know her better in these last two days before she leaves. But it DOESN'T WORK!
Tomorrow's the last day I get to see her as she goes about her work. And the last time I get to see her 'oh so impossibly cute' pout when she's stressed. *sigh* I know, I'm acting like a schoolboy. Well that's what crushes do to you. And my adolescent crushes have taught me to just enjoy this shot of euphoria while it lasts. Crushes are meant to be enjoyed, it's an emotion you just let loose because it'll burn itself out pretty quickly. Like magnesium, it burns brilliantly if only for a few seconds.
In the last few days I've identified the 5 stages of a crush....
First comes euphoria. It just hits you like a tsunami wave when you see the person for the first time. And you spend most of this stage wondering what can be.
Second stage, strategy. You start identifying an opening to introduce yourself.
Third, rationality. Now you're quantifying your chances of hitting it off with her. You start telling yourself it's impossible a nice girl like this isn't attached yet. And you're like 1,304, 856, 654th in line vying for her attention
Fourth, despair. You're wondering when you'll be able to get a chance to really know her. This is indicative that things AREN'T going well. Basically, you're desperate(flopping about like a fish out of water).
Fifth, acceptance. You come to terms that there's a good man out there for her. You're just not the one. It's time to give up. And hope against hope the lucky bastard treats her well.
If you can't tell, I'm at the last stage. I'm getting off this tidal wave.
And here's a message to her even though I know she'll probably never see it....
F****(you've got a lovely name), it was really nice getting to know you this week. Though I wish there was more time. I didn't even get your name till yesterday. But thanks, I really enjoyed this crush I have on you. Don't worry, I'm a big boy about it. And I'm sure you've brought the Uncles in our office much joy with your company as well. Goodluck with your studies and I hope you really make it into advertising.
You've really made an old warhorse feel like a young wild stallion again. *smile*
A flower for the lovely sunshine girl
Laughter In The Rain by Neil Sedaka
Strolling along country roads with my baby
It starts to rain, it begins to pour
Without an umbrella were soaked to the skin
I feel a shiver run up my spine
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
After a while we run under a tree
I turn to her and she kisses me
There with the beat of the rain on the leaves
Softly she breathes and I close my eyes
Sharing our love under stormy skies
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
Oo, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Oo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside
PS: About the title, yes I know it's autumn now. But in Singapore, it's summer all year round alright?
I don't want her to leave *sob* @ 2225hrs
posted by Ben at 10:25 PM
1 Comments:
aw man.
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