66.5kgs

2034hrs: I just took my weight yesterday on one of those digital weighing machines and yeah you guessed it, it's 66.5kgs. I've put on weight(1.5kgs) again though not much but I'm suppose to be losing weight. I've been saying I wanna go on a diet and stop eating all the ice-cream, chocolates, cakes with lots of cream and stop spraying whipped cream directly into my mouth. But after doing it for so long, I find it a little hard to stop. I don't know how to stop being hungry and scuttling around the kitchen looking for food(especially on weekends) late at night. My Aunt says I'm like a mouse, always sneaking around the kitchen looking for food. I've been feeling pretty bloated for awhile now as if the skin around my tummy isn't used to the extra weight.

I invited some of my long time pals to a BBQ recently and even they commented that I look pregnant(no worries no one knocked me up). This coming from the two who used to have big tummies as if they were 6 months pregnant. But they've slimmed down quite a bit. Both of them. One lost his weight due to his vocation as a combat sergeant in SAF's Armour Infantry. I'm sure if I were forced to go for a 5km run a few times a week, I'll lose weight pretty quick too. The other pal lost weight through sheer determination and exercise and now he looks better than me.

I know I really need to do something about this bulge. I'm so fat now I can't see my waist anymore. It's merged into one big blob of fat with my tummy. Seems like dieting and exercise is my only redemption now. And I need to my slim body back soon. I want it back.


Today marks exactly a year to my ORD date. It's now exactly 365 days and counting. I fucking hate the army. It's only a year into my National Slavery and I'm already getting sick and tired of it. I fucking hate the duties especially though I shouldn't be complaining so much. But I just hate being away from my own bed so often like now. And you know what? I'll be away from my own bed an entire week in July. You know why? Cause I got 5 fucking extras! I'm only doing 3 next month and the rest in August. So I'll be on duty 4 weekends next month. 4 fucking weekends! FOUR! And you know what was the grave sin I did? Having a fucking camera phone. Apparently it's cause of
security reasons'. You know what I think? FUCK YOU SAF...that's what I really think. SAF keeps proclaiming to the world how it's going 3G and all that crap when it's own policies aren't keeping up with technology. The phones these days come with a camera as a standard feature and those that don't come with one, aren't worth the cash and they cost almost the same. And you know what the biggest joke is? The officers themselves in this very camp I'm in right now carry camera phones and they don't even bother to conceal it. I can swear that if you did a search of everyone in this camp, you'll find more camera phones than there are non-camera ones. I'm so cocksure about it I bet my life on it.

The number one thing I hate about wearing green is the way the organization takes over your entire life. That your weekends are a privilege and not your own fucking RIGHT. That I'm now still nothing more than an expendable unit of the SAF. And the worse thing is I was forced into this that I never had a choice. That I had a fucking gun with the words 'BY LAW' engraved on the side of it pointed to my temple.

I hate what the Army has done to me. How it's turned me into this profane, mediocred version of my former self. I know it's the spoilt brat in me that's still protesting and rebelling against this system that's been imposed on me. I still unconciously do stupid things cause maybe I'm still unconciously rebelling against this system.

My pal talked it over with me and he hates the SAF as much as I do. He understands my frustrations against the illogical system we're in. In the end, we don't have a choice and it's either we follow the system or be made a fool of by the system. I fucking hate not having a choice. And all I can do is to grin and bare it for the next 365 days. To just Serve And Fuck-off when my time arrives.

Angsted @ 2113hrs

Exhilaration....

2107hrs: .....is when you have a canine that comes out of no where and appears next to your foot with it's jaws wide open. I just experienced one of the most exciting rides of my entire 4500 kilometres on my bike. I've been run over by police car, numerous crashes and one of the most exciting stuff I did was to go down a slope that cut through 3 intersections and when I reach the bottom, my speed's at 63km/h.

This morning's ride to camp was slightly tiring but absolutely enjoyable. I've forgotten how much I love riding in the morning with the cool air washing over me. The ride home was something else. There I was riding along trying to get home asap with the heavy rain beating down on me. I took this route that goes through this private housing estate and a few factories near the end. It curves right and joins the main road (Yio Chu Kang Road) at the end. I was happily riding along listening to Bad English singing "When I See You Smile" when I realised some barking. I turned to my left to see this fugly pot bellied mongrel canine, and it wasn't smiling. Instead, it had it's mouth wide open inches away from my foot trying to take a snap at it as if my foot were a 10 pound sirloin steak. With pure adrenaline I peddled through my fatigue and sped up but the dumb dog was still at my side. We continued racing for awhile until finally it gave up and I heaved a HUGE sigh of relief. I've done a million crazy things on my bike but I've never been chased by a mad dog before. And it was exciting but real scary to see his fangs with drool pouring off it's tips. I wanted to kick it but I thought better. There was a good chance of me losing my balance if I did that with my skinny slick tires coupled with the wet ground, high speed and a right turn coming up fast. I was so winded after that chase I retreated to the safety of the pedestrian pathway.

I plan to cycle again some time this week. It was fun and it's good exercise. Except for the dumb dog.

Aching at 2125hrs

Cycling!

2309hrs: Just here to drop a quick note. I'll be cycling to camp tomorrow morning. Well I'm a little apprehensive cause I haven't been on the roads (or my bike) for quite a while. I'm a little scared but I'm sure I'll be alright. I've done worst things on my bike before. But that was back when I was a little braver, a little dumber but nevertheless I've survived some of the worst accidents and escaped with only flesh wounds.

So if you people don't hear from me tomorrow evening, you can probably guess what happened. *heh heh*

Tired at 2312hrs

Must sleep soon...*yawn*

2211hrs: Just brought my boots down to camp today....I know it's sad to go back to camp on a Saturday afternoon. But I'm determined to cycle to camp on Monday morning. I can't go on looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. Anyways I'm still suffering sleepless nights and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's stress, maybe fatigue or my body just isn't tired enough. God knows. But I know things can't go on like this. It's just bad! Anyways instead of droning on, I'm just gonna post some pics and go have an early night. Got lotsa stuff to do tomorrow.

Whoever said commercial aviation was boring?


A Lufthansa 747-400 and a United 757-200 are on a simultaneous landing on the parallel runways 28L and 28R at SFO. Real runway separation is actually 225 meters. Due to the Jumbo being 3 times larger than the 757 and being behind gives us this fantastic optical illusion seeming to fly together.

USS Harry S Truman taking a bath:


Actually it's not taking a bath. They're probably testing the chemical defence system. After a chemical attack, they'll engage these sprinklers to decontaminate the entire flight deck.

You may not see his generosity but you gotta love his method.

Alabama Divorce Settlement: As part of the divorce settlement, she got the trailer and the truck too. Bubba delivered the truck, as per the lawyers agreement, yesterday.




Sleepy at 2226hrs

Under Pressure *Ice Ice Baby melody*

1944hrs: Yes, like the old Queen song of the same namesake states, I'm Under Pressure. I've just finished forecasting my unit's leave for the rest of the year and I was supposed to have gone home at 5 PM. But then again, I'm on duty.

Yes! As absurd as it sounds, my ever brilliant OC (Let's call him "Capt Arse") wants me to compile all 30+ personnel's leave for the rest of the year and he wants it all done YESTERDAY! Which is IMPOSSIBLE. I find it redundant cause most of the men won't keep to it anyway. But I've been doing this damned thing since yesterday morning on top of all the couple million other stuff I do. Here's a list of things I do on a typical day.

1. Parade State(the accounting of personnel, where & what everyone is doing) - This has to be submitted by 0900hrs but I can only start once the orderly has taken all attendance. This task should be a smooth process if only the orderly does his part of the job properly.

2. Clear all faxes in the fax machine, record all received faxes, distribute to the receipients.

3. Do the photocopying whenever someone needs stuff photocopied.

4. Do area cleaning, sweep floor, wipe down all cupboards, tables, chairs, etc.

5. Collect all Time Sheets/MCs from the previous day's Medical Appointments which basically means me chasing people for proof that they were on Medical Leave or attended their Medical Appointments.

6. Sign the key register book, make sure all keys are in order and keep track of where all keys are at any time.

7. Check that all documents are up to date and update if there's been any promotion or change of personal particulars.

8. Prepare the Notice to Personnel and make sure all announcements typed and ready by 5pm.

Doing all these things is pretty alright but throw in all the 'extra' stuff my immediate superior wants me to do and things start to get interesting. Whenever she has one of her brilliant ideas, it just adds to my workload. About 2 weeks ago she asked my upperstudy (Let's call him 'Pianoman') and I to print out and file up ALL available courses for NSFs from the Mindef Intranet. It wouldn't be so tough if they didn't have more than a thousand courses and if she didn't make us process it with Microsoft Word instead of printing directly from the webpage. It's the REDUNDANCY of it all that pisses me off.

All the guys here have accesss to the Mindef Intranet and they can view and select their courses off the net. And now she makes Pianoman and I do this weekly forecast which is basically a Parade State projection for the following week. It's maddeningly redundant because how will the guys know where they'll be next week? Doesn't the daily Parade State already account for everyone's physical presence? I personally don't have a problem being under a female boss if she knows what she's doing. In fact I was indirectly under a female Lieutenant in my previous camp and I respected her a lot because of the way she takes care of her men and how she shows genuine concern over her people. In fact, we even called her 'Mother Hen' for the way she protects her people. But to be fair, my boss can be nice at times. I just wish I could give her my feedback about the stuff she makes me do.

Pianoman once told me that Clerks are the least appreciated people in this place. And it's true! From 0800hrs till 1715hrs, I'm working round the clock all the way till fall out time. My only break is during lunch. Wanna know what the rest of the guys are doing? Well if there are no officers around, you can see the guys sleeping, chatting, watching tv, playing computer games, surfing the net, playing soccer or out running. And if there're officers around, they'll all pretend to do their work. Sometimes I really wonder why I'm working so hard when I'm getting paid the same amount as the rest of the NSFs here.

Today was just one of those days. I started work almost as soon as I arrived. I did the Parade State and reported strength to Capt Arsehole. And I got one of his unappreciated remarks cause there was a mistake in the Parade State. But you know what? The orderlies who mark the Parade State are supposed to make sure all data are correct before they pass it to me to enter into the system and report to OC. But nobody cares to make sure what they give me is correct and I have to do their work for them on top of my own work and still get the damned Parade State submitted to HQ on time. And when there's a mistake, I get blamed and scolded for it because I'm the one who has to face Capt Arse every morning. Pianoman and I always bear the brunt of all the insulting remarks. I don't like to get the other guys into trouble but I have to learn not to take the blame all the time when the others don't do their job.

I'm just so stressed and tired right now. I don't mean to sound so depressed but I'm just tired. I don't look forward to August when Pianoman finally ORDs and I'm left alone to face the same amount of work because right now I'm only doing 70% of the workload.

I'll need God plus my own strength and determination to pull through the last 385 days to ORD. I'm just worried that I'll be too exhausted at the end of each day to do the things I need to do eg. study for exams.

Note: Perhaps most of you will not understand this but I'm sure fellow conscripts of the Singapore Armed Forces will. The clerks would probably share my pain. My brethren! Don't lose hope! At least we all have a date to look forward to! And mine's 23rd June 2006! Even if I were to suffer amnesia, I'll still remember that date!

Serving duty in camp at 2132hrs

So angsy pantsy!

0057hrs: ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I'm having one of those annoying insomnia attacks AGAIN! I can't sleep and it's pissing me off! I haven't been sleeping well all week and I'm still sleepless. Arrrggghhh! I'm tempted to go to my doc and ask for some sleeping pills but I hate relying on drugs to get to sleep. But I guess I have no choice. My clerk work demands that I be on top of quite a few things all at once and I can't perform my tasks well when I'm so stoned. God help me!

With bloodshot eyes at 0100hrs