66.5kgs
2034hrs: I just took my weight yesterday on one of those digital weighing machines and yeah you guessed it, it's 66.5kgs. I've put on weight(1.5kgs) again though not much but I'm suppose to be losing weight. I've been saying I wanna go on a diet and stop eating all the ice-cream, chocolates, cakes with lots of cream and stop spraying whipped cream directly into my mouth. But after doing it for so long, I find it a little hard to stop. I don't know how to stop being hungry and scuttling around the kitchen looking for food(especially on weekends) late at night. My Aunt says I'm like a mouse, always sneaking around the kitchen looking for food. I've been feeling pretty bloated for awhile now as if the skin around my tummy isn't used to the extra weight.
I invited some of my long time pals to a BBQ recently and even they commented that I look pregnant(no worries no one knocked me up). This coming from the two who used to have big tummies as if they were 6 months pregnant. But they've slimmed down quite a bit. Both of them. One lost his weight due to his vocation as a combat sergeant in SAF's Armour Infantry. I'm sure if I were forced to go for a 5km run a few times a week, I'll lose weight pretty quick too. The other pal lost weight through sheer determination and exercise and now he looks better than me.
I know I really need to do something about this bulge. I'm so fat now I can't see my waist anymore. It's merged into one big blob of fat with my tummy. Seems like dieting and exercise is my only redemption now. And I need to my slim body back soon. I want it back.
Today marks exactly a year to my ORD date. It's now exactly 365 days and counting. I fucking hate the army. It's only a year into my National Slavery and I'm already getting sick and tired of it. I fucking hate the duties especially though I shouldn't be complaining so much. But I just hate being away from my own bed so often like now. And you know what? I'll be away from my own bed an entire week in July. You know why? Cause I got 5 fucking extras! I'm only doing 3 next month and the rest in August. So I'll be on duty 4 weekends next month. 4 fucking weekends! FOUR! And you know what was the grave sin I did? Having a fucking camera phone. Apparently it's cause of
security reasons'. You know what I think? FUCK YOU SAF...that's what I really think. SAF keeps proclaiming to the world how it's going 3G and all that crap when it's own policies aren't keeping up with technology. The phones these days come with a camera as a standard feature and those that don't come with one, aren't worth the cash and they cost almost the same. And you know what the biggest joke is? The officers themselves in this very camp I'm in right now carry camera phones and they don't even bother to conceal it. I can swear that if you did a search of everyone in this camp, you'll find more camera phones than there are non-camera ones. I'm so cocksure about it I bet my life on it.
The number one thing I hate about wearing green is the way the organization takes over your entire life. That your weekends are a privilege and not your own fucking RIGHT. That I'm now still nothing more than an expendable unit of the SAF. And the worse thing is I was forced into this that I never had a choice. That I had a fucking gun with the words 'BY LAW' engraved on the side of it pointed to my temple.
I hate what the Army has done to me. How it's turned me into this profane, mediocred version of my former self. I know it's the spoilt brat in me that's still protesting and rebelling against this system that's been imposed on me. I still unconciously do stupid things cause maybe I'm still unconciously rebelling against this system.
My pal talked it over with me and he hates the SAF as much as I do. He understands my frustrations against the illogical system we're in. In the end, we don't have a choice and it's either we follow the system or be made a fool of by the system. I fucking hate not having a choice. And all I can do is to grin and bare it for the next 365 days. To just Serve And Fuck-off when my time arrives.
Angsted @ 2113hrs
I invited some of my long time pals to a BBQ recently and even they commented that I look pregnant(no worries no one knocked me up). This coming from the two who used to have big tummies as if they were 6 months pregnant. But they've slimmed down quite a bit. Both of them. One lost his weight due to his vocation as a combat sergeant in SAF's Armour Infantry. I'm sure if I were forced to go for a 5km run a few times a week, I'll lose weight pretty quick too. The other pal lost weight through sheer determination and exercise and now he looks better than me.
I know I really need to do something about this bulge. I'm so fat now I can't see my waist anymore. It's merged into one big blob of fat with my tummy. Seems like dieting and exercise is my only redemption now. And I need to my slim body back soon. I want it back.
Today marks exactly a year to my ORD date. It's now exactly 365 days and counting. I fucking hate the army. It's only a year into my National Slavery and I'm already getting sick and tired of it. I fucking hate the duties especially though I shouldn't be complaining so much. But I just hate being away from my own bed so often like now. And you know what? I'll be away from my own bed an entire week in July. You know why? Cause I got 5 fucking extras! I'm only doing 3 next month and the rest in August. So I'll be on duty 4 weekends next month. 4 fucking weekends! FOUR! And you know what was the grave sin I did? Having a fucking camera phone. Apparently it's cause of
security reasons'. You know what I think? FUCK YOU SAF...that's what I really think. SAF keeps proclaiming to the world how it's going 3G and all that crap when it's own policies aren't keeping up with technology. The phones these days come with a camera as a standard feature and those that don't come with one, aren't worth the cash and they cost almost the same. And you know what the biggest joke is? The officers themselves in this very camp I'm in right now carry camera phones and they don't even bother to conceal it. I can swear that if you did a search of everyone in this camp, you'll find more camera phones than there are non-camera ones. I'm so cocksure about it I bet my life on it.
The number one thing I hate about wearing green is the way the organization takes over your entire life. That your weekends are a privilege and not your own fucking RIGHT. That I'm now still nothing more than an expendable unit of the SAF. And the worse thing is I was forced into this that I never had a choice. That I had a fucking gun with the words 'BY LAW' engraved on the side of it pointed to my temple.
I hate what the Army has done to me. How it's turned me into this profane, mediocred version of my former self. I know it's the spoilt brat in me that's still protesting and rebelling against this system that's been imposed on me. I still unconciously do stupid things cause maybe I'm still unconciously rebelling against this system.
My pal talked it over with me and he hates the SAF as much as I do. He understands my frustrations against the illogical system we're in. In the end, we don't have a choice and it's either we follow the system or be made a fool of by the system. I fucking hate not having a choice. And all I can do is to grin and bare it for the next 365 days. To just Serve And Fuck-off when my time arrives.
Angsted @ 2113hrs
posted by Ben at 9:13 PM
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