My PC has dieded...

1624hrs: Just dropping a note to say that there won't be updates for awhile. My PC has finally died. Completely, utterly DEAD. The power supply I suspect. I'm currently waiting for my new Pentium IV 3Ghz system to arrive. Maybe I'll get my current one fixed and have a small network. I don't know...I haven't decided. All I know is I can start gaming again when my new PC arrives. I miss playing those flight sims. Crashing Concorde into Changi Airport in Flight Simulator 2004 or dropping ordnance over the Korean Peninsula in Falcon 4.

Well I probably won't make it back before the year's end. I haven't decided whether to service the current PC and furthemore the new system won't arrive till mid Jan '06. So I guess I'll see you guys next year!

Have a great New Year!!!

ORD Year is upon us at 1632hrs

Is it over?

2357hrs: Just came home from hanging out with Janan and Dom. Somehow it just didn't feel the same. I felt like the odd one out when the both of them talked about their uni lives, physics and aeronautics. I just feel as if I'm not really part of the group anymore. Even though we've all been friends since we were 13, it just doesn't feel the same anymore(at least to me). What's changed? Other than them being in uni while I'm still stuck in the army. Perhaps it's just cause we barely get together and hang out anymore. I don't know. But I felt really left out during the outing.

When Dom drove me home, we barely talked. I know we're good friends but how much do we really click? Janan and Dom have no problems since they were in the same school and CCAs. They've probably gone through alot more together than I've been with any of them. But I still think of them as great buddies though.

*sigh* What's wrong with me? I've been feeling so crap all week.

double *sigh* at 0004hrs

The 12 Days of Christmas

2258hrs:

Diary of a Londoner Living in The Scottish Highlands

DEC 20th

It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen foryears. The wife and I took our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching thefluffy snow flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering theground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.

DEC 24th.

We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering asfar as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bushcovered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first timeever and loved it. I did both our driveway and pavement. Later that day asnowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway withcompacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved backand shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman withcoal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couplejust missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in theirfun.

DEC 26th.

It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped toaround minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped dueto the weight of snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwardsthe snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now abrownish-grey.

JAN 1st.

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became icewhen the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars£500. Fell on my arse in the driveway. £100 to a physio but nothing wasbroken.

JAN 5th.

Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. Sheslid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing - £200. Hadanother 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered insalt and iced up slush. That bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where'sthat bloody shovel.

JAN 9th.

More F*****G snow. Not a tree or bush in our property that hasn't beendamaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing todeath with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearlytorched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degreeburns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a F*****Gdeer on the way to casualty and was written off.

JAN 13th.

F*****G B*****D white shite just keeps on coming down. Have to put on everyarticle of clothing just to go to the post box. The little C***S next doorambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so farup the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon 6 hours to find it. If Iever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chestand rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the B*****D hides round thecorner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates downthe street like Michael F*****G Schumacher and buries the F*****G drivewayagain.

JAN 17th

16 more sodding inches of F*****G snow and F*****G ice and F*****G sleet andgod knows what other white shite fell last night. I am in court in 3 monthstime for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick. Can't move myF*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more F*****Gsnow forecast

F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON

Do you still wish for snow in Singapore?

2301hrs

I was only sixteen...

2359hrs: It is exactly a month till I turn 22. What does the KGB's 22nd year hold you might ask? Nothing much other than my ORD date. And the chance to walk the land as a civillian again. The end of being pushed around by uncouth beings whom without their uniforms, they'd be nothing more than hooligans found at every street corner. Actually even the DXOs(people who join SAF as admin clerks) are a bunch of bitches. They treat NSFs in general like dirt and take every opportunity to show their superiority by pushing their work to NSFs and spend the rest of the day gossiping, laughing like a bevy of witches sharing sinister thoughts around a cauldron. I'll be all too happy to forget my time in the military. If I could, I'd have that portion of my brain that holds all the experiences I had in the military surgically removed, burned and have it's ashes locked and buried in a safe in the Pacific Ocean.

I wish I still lived in simpler times like when I was 16. I miss those days of innocence and just being happy to be alive. A time of innocent crushes, endless excursions on my bicycle through torrential rain at 3am in the morning in Bukit Timah with an excruciating injury. That was perhaps one of my most memorable night cycling trips. Those innocent platonic friendship with the fairer ones. Teasing them, taking their scrungies(that hair tying thingy?) and sticking our tongues out when we couldn't decide who'd won the argument. It was a time when Ben was a lot stronger mentally and physically. I could do 16 chin-ups, rest for 10 mins and do 10 more. Dutifully following 1 hour of cycling, 30mins of weight lifting plus 120 sit-ups every alternate day. Now, I can barely squeeze one chin-up out. And what was once abs is now nothing more than flab.

I miss those days...

Just Another Day
by Jon Secada

Mornings alone
When you come home
I breath a little faster
Every time we're together
It'd never be the same
If you're not here
How can you stay away, away so long.

Chorus
Why can't we stay together
Give me a reason
Give me a reason.
I, I don't wanna say it I don't wanna find another way
Make it through the day without you
I, I cant resist. tryng to find exactly what I missed
It's just another day without you

Making the time
Find the right lines
To make you stay forever
What do I have to tell you
I'm just trying to hold on to something(Trying to hold on to something good)
Give us a chance to make it.
Don't wanna hold on to never
I'm not that strong I'm not that strong.

Chorus2
I, I don't wanna say it
I don't wanna find another way
Make it through the day without you
I, I can't resist
Trying to find exactly what I miss
It's just another day without you.why can't you stay forever
Just give me a reason
Give me a reason.

I, I don't wanna say it I
don't wanna find another way
Make it through the day without you
I, I cant to resist. trying to find exactly what I missed
It's just another day

Older at 0023hrs

The girl from yesterday

2114hrs: Don't know why but my buddies in camp started talking about girls they've liked and what came of it. I started thinking too. In all honest truth, I can barely recall less than half the girls I've been close to during the last 6 years. But there are a few I remember everything about. Even though I don't want to, I still remember my first crush's birthday. It took me years just to forget her number. The only reason why I still remember so much about her was cause for one, we were pretty close for 2 years, she was my first crush and things didn't end well with her. Even though I can still recall most things about her, I don't think about her.

But there's one that I still think about. I still think of her(let's call her LQ) only cause I felt bad about what happened. We had something going and I crushed it all on my own. I think I hurt her quite deeply and till this day, I believe she still hates me or at least she doesn't ever want to talk to me again. I only wonder sometimes about what could've been. If I hadn't done what I did, maybe we could still be friends now. I only wish that someday I might speak to her again. Just to find out how she's getting along though I think chances are slim to none at all.

Last night while surfing through my friendster, I found her profile. It just made me want to set things right. So I wrote a dedication to Class 95's 'Back to the Ol School' show just to say sorry and dedicated a song that I used to sing to her(the singing was pretty bad though). It was read out today but I wonder if she heard it. I wouldn't dare message her on friendster or even add her to my friends list. Guess I deserve to feel guilty even after all these years huh? She's a sweet girl but I managed to get her pissed enough to hate me.

I lay in bed last night wondering how many girls I've been mean to in my time. I was telling my friend today about what I did for LQ last time when we were close. One night she called me from a camp she was at and asked if I could bring a shirt down to her. Of course I said yes. Even though I live in Hougang and the camp was being held at some school in Jurong. It took me 2 bloody hours on a butt numbing bus ride just to get to where she was. But seeing her smile made everything worth it. Later on when she was walking me to the bus stop I tried to hold her hand but she was walking too fast and I gave up after two tries. I smsed her after getting on the bus and it went like this...

Me: Did you know I was trying to hold your hand just now?
LQ: Huh? You were? Then why didn't you?
Me: You were walking so fast and I kept missing your hand!
LQ: LOL....maybe you can try harder next time.

I found that quite funny. That was one of those sweet innocent times I had with LQ. And after telling my friend that little story he shook his head and asked "What happened to that sweet guy you used to be?".

You know, I wonder too.


Crying In The Rain by A-ha

I'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All my sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for stormy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never take away my misery
But since we're not together
I pray for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain
I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain


Very tired at 2153hrs

You want my what?

2239hrs: Had dinner with some camp mates last night at Glasshouse Fish & Co. The food was good and the company....well could've improved a little. A buddy of mine was suppose to turn up but in the end he had to attend to his friend who just broke up with her boyfriend(which presents an opportunity for him I'm sure). To my dismay, someone I don't particularly like appeared in his place. Well I took it in my stride and had myself a good time anyway. And quietly sniggering at the guy's insecurity especially with girls. I've been to the same place with the same 'enemy' once before. Last night was like deja vu. Heck...he was even in the same outfit he wore last time we were there.

Anyways, the last time we were there, he was trying to get one of the waitress's number. All 6 of us at the table spent the entire evening encouraging him to walk up to her and ask for her number. In the end when he finally did 'try' going up to her, the girl ran away. It didn't work but it was hilarious. Then someone suggested he write her a note and get one of the other waitresses to pass it to her. It ended up with me having to write the note for him (we weren't enemies then). Of course the entire thing amounted to nothing and the guy spent the next few months harping about 'ifs' with my buddy restraining himself from wringing the guy's neck everytime he starts whining.

So last night the guy got the idea of picking one of the waitresses up....again. Surprise surprise...guess who was there? The girl he tried to pick up(unsuccessfully) was there working the tables again. And this guy goes on harping about her all over again.

Well that wasn't the only drama last night. I had a passing thought of asking one of the waitresses for her number but I wasn't really serious about it. I made the mistake of voicing it out and my 'enemy' got her to come to our table when she was near. I don't know what the guy was trying to do. Perhaps he wanted to catch me off guard and prove that I was as much a coward as he is. Since the opportunity already presented itself, I asked. But I guess the effectiveness of my pick up line was jeopardized by the live band. Having the speakers next to our table had her going 'huh?' and 'what?' throughout the line's execution. Of course it didn't work but I wasn't feeling bad about it. Seriously, I don't believe in picking up girls off the street. I do it outta fun and the 'rush'. Its always exciting till the moment you get an answer. And the more you do it, the less nervous you get. It's good practice for meeting new people. So that was my Saturday evening which we ended at Cafe Cartel with me having a sinful ice cream waffle with caramel covered banana with loads of whipped cream. Oh that was good!



If you're wondering why, the guy backstabbed me in camp and hoped I'd be punished. Of course I didn't get punished but it doesn't erase what he did.



Another camp buddy of mine. Knew him since BMT. He's helped me solve more than a few IT problems. Great guy!



Saw this kitty in the underpass and thought it looked cute. Too bad the pic's a little blur.

Time to sleep at 2343hrs

Bwahahaha...

0121hrs:

Ten things you should never say to a woman during an argument

10. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
9. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.
8. You are just upset because you butt is beginning to spread.
7. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?
6. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
5. Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.
4. Whoa, time out. Football is on.
3. Looks like someone had a bowl of bitch flakes this morning!
2. Is there anyway we can do this via e-mail?

And the number ONE thing you should never say to a woman during an argument is.........

Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.



The human spirit is impeccable. Well that's until he looks up her skirt....

Bwahahaha......@0127hrs