The girl from yesterday

2114hrs: Don't know why but my buddies in camp started talking about girls they've liked and what came of it. I started thinking too. In all honest truth, I can barely recall less than half the girls I've been close to during the last 6 years. But there are a few I remember everything about. Even though I don't want to, I still remember my first crush's birthday. It took me years just to forget her number. The only reason why I still remember so much about her was cause for one, we were pretty close for 2 years, she was my first crush and things didn't end well with her. Even though I can still recall most things about her, I don't think about her.

But there's one that I still think about. I still think of her(let's call her LQ) only cause I felt bad about what happened. We had something going and I crushed it all on my own. I think I hurt her quite deeply and till this day, I believe she still hates me or at least she doesn't ever want to talk to me again. I only wonder sometimes about what could've been. If I hadn't done what I did, maybe we could still be friends now. I only wish that someday I might speak to her again. Just to find out how she's getting along though I think chances are slim to none at all.

Last night while surfing through my friendster, I found her profile. It just made me want to set things right. So I wrote a dedication to Class 95's 'Back to the Ol School' show just to say sorry and dedicated a song that I used to sing to her(the singing was pretty bad though). It was read out today but I wonder if she heard it. I wouldn't dare message her on friendster or even add her to my friends list. Guess I deserve to feel guilty even after all these years huh? She's a sweet girl but I managed to get her pissed enough to hate me.

I lay in bed last night wondering how many girls I've been mean to in my time. I was telling my friend today about what I did for LQ last time when we were close. One night she called me from a camp she was at and asked if I could bring a shirt down to her. Of course I said yes. Even though I live in Hougang and the camp was being held at some school in Jurong. It took me 2 bloody hours on a butt numbing bus ride just to get to where she was. But seeing her smile made everything worth it. Later on when she was walking me to the bus stop I tried to hold her hand but she was walking too fast and I gave up after two tries. I smsed her after getting on the bus and it went like this...

Me: Did you know I was trying to hold your hand just now?
LQ: Huh? You were? Then why didn't you?
Me: You were walking so fast and I kept missing your hand!
LQ: LOL....maybe you can try harder next time.

I found that quite funny. That was one of those sweet innocent times I had with LQ. And after telling my friend that little story he shook his head and asked "What happened to that sweet guy you used to be?".

You know, I wonder too.


Crying In The Rain by A-ha

I'll never let you see
The way my broken heart is hurting me
I've got my pride and I know how to hide
All my sorrow and pain
I'll do my crying in the rain

If I wait for stormy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain

Raindrops falling from heaven
Could never take away my misery
But since we're not together
I pray for stormy weather
To hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Someday when my crying's done
I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun
I may be a fool
But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain
I'll do my crying in the rain

I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain
I'll do my crying in the rain


Very tired at 2153hrs