Hi, I'd like to download a....
2353hrs: You know you've been spending too much time online when you go to a restaurant and tell the waiter "Hi, I'd like to download a plate of calamari rings please?" . In which the waiter returned an incredulous look before I realised my booboo half a sec later. But the waiter and I ended up having a good laugh though.
Well if you're wondering why I'm still up at this time, it's cause I don't need to be in camp till 1330hrs tomorrow. Nope it's no special day. I've just got a medical appointment in the morning at 1055hrs and so I can sleep in abit. It's been a really chilled out week. Monday morning on my way to camp in a cab, I had to make an unscheduled pitstop at a gas station cause my bowel were threatening to blow. I had a lot of time to think while 'unleashing hell'. I figured the snack I had the previous day which I suspected to be expired(but finished anyway) might be causing this. Well after my pitstop I made a call to my LT(left-tenant) to let me go see the doc. The cab made a right at my camp's entrance and took me to the nearest Polyclinic. Told the doc I suspected I was having food poisoning. So he proceeded to poke and jab the different points on my tummy. After much jabbing he managed to get a yelp from me. To confirm, he jabbed again and I yelped again. He said that part where he jabbed was where the appendicts is. And he suspected I was having appendicitis. If it were so, I'll have to be operated on. So he said I had to go to the hospital for a thorough check-up.
I had lots of time to think about the possibility of being sliced and diced. And the off chance that I'll be half-anaesthetized and be awake thoughout the entire operating procedure. Feeling every incision and the surgeon's hands playing around in my guts.
Got to the hospital and gave the doc there a letter from the first doc I saw. So this doc proceeded to jab my tummy too and the pain seemed to have vanished. Doc wasn't convinced and said he needed to probe me to be sure. And the conversation went like...
Doc: Pull down your pants and lie on your side please?
Me: What? Doc, don't tell me you're gonna stick your finger up my butthole?
Doc: Yeah, I need to check your stool.
Me: Could I skip the probing please?
Doc: Why?
Me: I feel REALLY uncomfortable with people sticking their digits up my butt. And my first experience wasn't a pleasant one.
Doc: Don't worry I promise to be careful.
So I reluctantly accepted the extremely uncomfortable procedure and well, it was no different from my first experience except that this time, I knew it was coming. My first experience had this female doc asking me to lie on my side and show her my fleshys. She didn't mention anything about her finger up my butt. Before I knew it, "YOWEEE!!!". I jumped so hard I almost fell off the examining table and pulled a nerve in the process. And she continued the violation by squeezing my 'package' to see how well hung I am. I was so humiliated and disgusted by the entire experience. And I wondered if it was a normal procedure since I've never experienced any probings in my entire 21 years. I asked the camp doctor when I saw him a few days later and asked if it was normal procedure for a doc to carry out such 'examinations'. He explained that the probing was to check the colour of the stool and the fondling and squeezing of the 'package' was to check for hernia. But he said only inexperienced doctors would do such procedures so as not to leave anything out. Half way through his notes he looked up with a sly grin and said "Why? You think you got sodomised ah?". THE HUMILIATION!
I think the doctor felt bad about the date his finger had with my butthole and gave me 2 days sick leave to forget the whole thing. In the end he didn't tell me what was wrong with me but I concluded it to be food poisoning. You know what's the funniest thing? The doc's surname was Socrates, as in the Greek philosopher of 469 - 399 B.C.? Can you imagine Socrates running around Athens giving anal probes to everyone walking by? The horror!
Splashed on the front page of today's New Paper with the headline "Singapore's Hottest Blogger: Dawn Yang!" was this sweet thing...
Well, no argument from me. I like what I'm seeing but I just don't believe Singapore could've bloomed such a beauty. Surfed through her blog and discovered that she's my campmate's classmate from RJC. Small world we live in. Man, what I wouldn't give...anyways here's more to drool over....
Oops...think I over did it with the pics. But I just couldn't help it. Her pics help beautify my blog somewhat. Ok just one more...
Funny that her sis(red shirt) is a huge contrast to her. Guess your'e only allowed to have one rose in the family huh?
Alex she's Keith's classmate.
Tired at 0115hrs
Well if you're wondering why I'm still up at this time, it's cause I don't need to be in camp till 1330hrs tomorrow. Nope it's no special day. I've just got a medical appointment in the morning at 1055hrs and so I can sleep in abit. It's been a really chilled out week. Monday morning on my way to camp in a cab, I had to make an unscheduled pitstop at a gas station cause my bowel were threatening to blow. I had a lot of time to think while 'unleashing hell'. I figured the snack I had the previous day which I suspected to be expired(but finished anyway) might be causing this. Well after my pitstop I made a call to my LT(left-tenant) to let me go see the doc. The cab made a right at my camp's entrance and took me to the nearest Polyclinic. Told the doc I suspected I was having food poisoning. So he proceeded to poke and jab the different points on my tummy. After much jabbing he managed to get a yelp from me. To confirm, he jabbed again and I yelped again. He said that part where he jabbed was where the appendicts is. And he suspected I was having appendicitis. If it were so, I'll have to be operated on. So he said I had to go to the hospital for a thorough check-up.
I had lots of time to think about the possibility of being sliced and diced. And the off chance that I'll be half-anaesthetized and be awake thoughout the entire operating procedure. Feeling every incision and the surgeon's hands playing around in my guts.
Got to the hospital and gave the doc there a letter from the first doc I saw. So this doc proceeded to jab my tummy too and the pain seemed to have vanished. Doc wasn't convinced and said he needed to probe me to be sure. And the conversation went like...
Doc: Pull down your pants and lie on your side please?
Me: What? Doc, don't tell me you're gonna stick your finger up my butthole?
Doc: Yeah, I need to check your stool.
Me: Could I skip the probing please?
Doc: Why?
Me: I feel REALLY uncomfortable with people sticking their digits up my butt. And my first experience wasn't a pleasant one.
Doc: Don't worry I promise to be careful.
So I reluctantly accepted the extremely uncomfortable procedure and well, it was no different from my first experience except that this time, I knew it was coming. My first experience had this female doc asking me to lie on my side and show her my fleshys. She didn't mention anything about her finger up my butt. Before I knew it, "YOWEEE!!!". I jumped so hard I almost fell off the examining table and pulled a nerve in the process. And she continued the violation by squeezing my 'package' to see how well hung I am. I was so humiliated and disgusted by the entire experience. And I wondered if it was a normal procedure since I've never experienced any probings in my entire 21 years. I asked the camp doctor when I saw him a few days later and asked if it was normal procedure for a doc to carry out such 'examinations'. He explained that the probing was to check the colour of the stool and the fondling and squeezing of the 'package' was to check for hernia. But he said only inexperienced doctors would do such procedures so as not to leave anything out. Half way through his notes he looked up with a sly grin and said "Why? You think you got sodomised ah?". THE HUMILIATION!
I think the doctor felt bad about the date his finger had with my butthole and gave me 2 days sick leave to forget the whole thing. In the end he didn't tell me what was wrong with me but I concluded it to be food poisoning. You know what's the funniest thing? The doc's surname was Socrates, as in the Greek philosopher of 469 - 399 B.C.? Can you imagine Socrates running around Athens giving anal probes to everyone walking by? The horror!
Splashed on the front page of today's New Paper with the headline "Singapore's Hottest Blogger: Dawn Yang!" was this sweet thing...
Well, no argument from me. I like what I'm seeing but I just don't believe Singapore could've bloomed such a beauty. Surfed through her blog and discovered that she's my campmate's classmate from RJC. Small world we live in. Man, what I wouldn't give...anyways here's more to drool over....
Oops...think I over did it with the pics. But I just couldn't help it. Her pics help beautify my blog somewhat. Ok just one more...
Funny that her sis(red shirt) is a huge contrast to her. Guess your'e only allowed to have one rose in the family huh?
Alex she's Keith's classmate.
Tired at 0115hrs
posted by Ben at 1:15 AM
2 Comments:
Socrates, Athens and butts.
That is quite one of the funniest posts I've seen around here.
Hang in there mate....and don't get too many m/cs, if not pple think you are slacking too much.
She is certainly nice. I can`t blame you!
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