The 12 Days of Christmas
2258hrs:
Diary of a Londoner Living in The Scottish Highlands
DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen foryears. The wife and I took our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching thefluffy snow flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering theground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th.
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering asfar as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bushcovered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first timeever and loved it. I did both our driveway and pavement. Later that day asnowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway withcompacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved backand shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman withcoal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couplejust missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in theirfun.
DEC 26th.
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped toaround minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped dueto the weight of snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwardsthe snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now abrownish-grey.
JAN 1st.
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became icewhen the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars£500. Fell on my arse in the driveway. £100 to a physio but nothing wasbroken.
JAN 5th.
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. Sheslid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing - £200. Hadanother 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered insalt and iced up slush. That bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where'sthat bloody shovel.
JAN 9th.
More F*****G snow. Not a tree or bush in our property that hasn't beendamaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing todeath with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearlytorched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degreeburns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a F*****Gdeer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th.
F*****G B*****D white shite just keeps on coming down. Have to put on everyarticle of clothing just to go to the post box. The little C***S next doorambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so farup the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon 6 hours to find it. If Iever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chestand rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the B*****D hides round thecorner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates downthe street like Michael F*****G Schumacher and buries the F*****G drivewayagain.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of F*****G snow and F*****G ice and F*****G sleet andgod knows what other white shite fell last night. I am in court in 3 monthstime for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick. Can't move myF*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more F*****Gsnow forecast
F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON
Do you still wish for snow in Singapore?
2301hrs
Diary of a Londoner Living in The Scottish Highlands
DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen foryears. The wife and I took our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching thefluffy snow flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering theground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th.
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering asfar as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bushcovered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first timeever and loved it. I did both our driveway and pavement. Later that day asnowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway withcompacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved backand shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman withcoal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couplejust missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in theirfun.
DEC 26th.
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped toaround minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped dueto the weight of snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwardsthe snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now abrownish-grey.
JAN 1st.
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became icewhen the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars£500. Fell on my arse in the driveway. £100 to a physio but nothing wasbroken.
JAN 5th.
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. Sheslid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing - £200. Hadanother 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered insalt and iced up slush. That bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where'sthat bloody shovel.
JAN 9th.
More F*****G snow. Not a tree or bush in our property that hasn't beendamaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing todeath with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearlytorched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degreeburns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a F*****Gdeer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th.
F*****G B*****D white shite just keeps on coming down. Have to put on everyarticle of clothing just to go to the post box. The little C***S next doorambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so farup the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon 6 hours to find it. If Iever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chestand rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the B*****D hides round thecorner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates downthe street like Michael F*****G Schumacher and buries the F*****G drivewayagain.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of F*****G snow and F*****G ice and F*****G sleet andgod knows what other white shite fell last night. I am in court in 3 monthstime for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick. Can't move myF*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more F*****Gsnow forecast
F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON
Do you still wish for snow in Singapore?
2301hrs
posted by Ben at 11:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home