Is it true?

2244hrs: The previous night I was chatting with a friend of mine and I asked him about his thoughts on that entry I wrote about beary. I asked if that entry was a little over the top. He said it was alright. And then I said, "I don't know why I'm always mesmerized by beary". In which he replied, "You're always mesmerized when a lady shows you concern". It was startling to hear that and I started reflecting upon it to see if it were true. And now when I think of it, perhaps there's some truth to it. Though I don't think it happens with every girl I like. It seems to only occur with the ones that truly, completely captured my heart. Perhaps it is that concern that I feel a certain warmth from that person that causes me to develop the kinda feelings and wanting to find out more about her. But it is these feelings that sets me up for disappointment. It's silly really to just go after someone because she shows concern. It sounds really absurd now when I think about it. It makes me look and act like a dog. I should take my friend's advice and just let nature take it's course rather than going out there and hunting down every girl that shows the slightest potential. I should learn to play it cool and stop acting like some juvenile. I think sometimes I do that is because I feel lonesome at this current state of my life and any feminine figure that presents itself casts a soothing warmth over me that somehow seems to always bring some reprieve to my plight. I really don't know. I'm so bored right now wishing I had some friends to go out with but I have none. But at the same time I'm tired and I need sleep. Maybe all I need is someone or something to focus my affections on. Like a dog. Just like Bear. I do miss Bear during these dark phases of my life. I miss walking him and watching him run around being so happy just leaves me light hearted. I miss my Bear and I guess I should just find solace in the thought that he's living happily in a terrace house now. God knows I miss that furball.

Still conflicted and lonely at 2307hrs