Breathless...

0134hrs: I haven't had an asthma attack for at least 6 months. But somehow on Tuesday it happened that feeling of having to make an effort to breathe like having someone clamp down your chest and squeezing your airpipe. I went down to the medical centre then the doc decided to nebulize me. I always feel like Darth Vader when they neb me. It's just the sound of the compressor running in the background and the vapour coming out from the respirator just reminds me of it. Anyways I got breathless again on Thursday night during guard duty. Was sent down to the medical facility in Pasir Laba camp at 2300hrs. Doc said it wasn't my asthma cause my heart and lungs were fine, probably just needed some rest so he excused me from guard duty. My poor friend had to cover my shift while doing his own. He ended up standing for 4 hours instead of 2 hours on 4 hours off. I feel really bad about it. Promised him a treat on Wednesday though. Guess I've just been pretty sick and out of action. My knees are going to shit cause I've stopped taking my Glucosamine supplements cause I've run out and I haven't gone down to Gleneagles to get more. Seems like I'm dependant on this supplement for the rest of my life. The moment I stop taking it, my knees start feeling funny. It's sad to know that I'm dependant on pills now just cause I've got soft cartilage under the kneecaps. But I've got a long weekend. Platoon Commander gave me off on Monday cause of my Birthday. Which is nice, I'm still thinking if I should go visit my pals in NUS on Monday or catch 'The Aviator'(for obvious reasons).

It's one day to my birthday. Yes, that big TWO-ONE is upon me. I've decided to stop having any romantic thoughts about anyone. I should be focusing more on myself and what I want to achive this year. And like she said once, it's silly for me to like someone I hardly know. Actually I've never really liked her, I just wanted to know her and the more she denied me the harder I pushed for it. It's starting to make me look stupid and I hate to look stupid. I look stupid because she's indifferent to everything I say or do. Getting her amused with one of my entries was about the only success(if you could call it that) I've had with breaking through her ice-cold citadel. Anymore attempts would just be fruitless and foolish.

I've been meaning to go work out but I can't seem to find the time. I freaking came home at 8pm on Monday just because some guy lost his wallet and everybody got held back because of it. And I'm dog tired when I get home. *sigh*

Still conflicted at 0203hrs