Old...

2123hrs: So it's exactly a month to my 21st Birthday and I've still yet to decide what to do. The big TWO ONE, the age where you're no longer a kid but an adult. The time when you're allowed to watch R21 movies and enter clubs that require a minimum age of 21 but it's not like those things make a big difference to me. But I do know I'm getting old. I caught one strand of white hair on my full raven crowning glory yesterday while looking in the mirror. I found this single strand on the side of my head and it was long as if it's been there for awhile now. I'VE GOT WHITE HAIR!!! Which means I'm getting O-L-D-E-R. If you haven't realised, I'm one of those people who don't ever wanna grow up or old. I want to remain like this if I could. I wouldn't mind living dangerously and dying young. Where my image will be frozen in time and people will only remember me as I am now. I know it sounds a little crazy but I do seem to live as if I've got a death wish sometimes. But I am afterall an adrenaline junkie. I want to fly fighter jets at twice the speed of sound cause everything else just seem so slow. Or at least race around a track at 300km/h knowing I'm still in full control of the vehicle. I just can't imagine doing anything else, like sitting down in an office 8 freaking hours a day. I've done that before and I hated it. I'd rather be somewhere else where the enviroment's always changing cause I get bored easily. I do get bored too easily that's why I've to continually look for new things to do. Hmm...I think I'm drifiting off topic. I'm tired, I haven't had properly sleep since the night before last. I couldn't sleep properly last night in camp cause some idiot kept playing his darn music in the bunk when everyone else is sleeping and the inconsiderate bastard continued in the morning when everyone else was resting. I felt like taking my swiss army knife and cutting the wires to his PC speakers. The SOB insists on using the speakers even though he's the only one listening to the crap that he plays. He's playing rowdy indian music at 2 fucking AM in the morning!!! Why couldn't he just use his earphones. Anyways I've already decided to rip up his wires the next time he does it. Ok I'm starting to indulge in the things I'd like to do to the SOBs in camp. Better go sleep now.

Still conflicted at 2140hrs