BMT
1506hrs: Things I have learnt being in the army:
1. I do not like to be told what to do and when to do it. It's my God given right as a human being to make decisions on my own.
2. The army is hell for people who embrace freedom. Eg. Me!
3. The army has a way of transforming even Einstein himself into blabbering idiot. I can feel my neurons have halved since I enlisted. And I enlisted on 24th June. That shows how effective the army is at making people stupid. Even now as I'm writing this entry, my brain feels numb. I haven't had any mental stimulation for the past 3 weeks! I haven't read anything since I enlisted. Not even a freaking piece of news article....NOTHING NATTA, ZILCH!!! I haven't pondered about anything for so long. I haven't even been able to fully comprehend the changes that have happened in my life since I enlisted. I hope this stupidity isn't permanent or else I'm gonna sue the SAF for this. Provided I'll be able to figure out what to charge them with(Forgive me I can't come up with any intelligent pun to go with this sentence...now do you see what they've done to me?).
4. The army has almost half a century's worth of experience on how to waste time. If I could consolidate all the time wasted sitting around when I was sick, I could've already read Homer's Illiad 3 times over. That's how much of my time they've wasted. After all the bad press that the army's been getting recently about losing recruits, they're now quite strict about not letting sick do ANY physical activity including READING. I was made to sit on the sidelines while my platoon was engaged in physical endurance training. I decided I had enough of sitting around falling asleep. So I walked up to my sergeant and asked if I could read a book. He glared at me and gave me a curt "NO!" and told me to sit back down with the others and continue watching the platoon sweat it out in the morning sun. I personally do not enjoy watching a bunch of guys running around soaked in sweat. I know it might turn some people on but I'd rather be caught watching my toenails grow.
5. I've never been so tired in my entire life. I was laughing when one of my older friends recounted how some people could fall asleep doing marching drills when he was in the army. But now I'm doing the same thing. I never knew I could fall asleep standing with my rifle in hand. Everyday is just a blur of activity. I wake at 0500hrs every morning and lights out is at 2230. If I'm lucky the people in my bunk would all be sleeping by that time. But most of the time they're holding a party till 2330. And I won't be able to fall asleep till 2330.
6. I have learnt that running through a gap(no matter how big) between a sergeant and his platoon is considered an insult to the sergeant. Sometime during the first week of BMT I accidentally came between a sergeant and his men. I was rushing to fall in with my platoon and the quickest route I saw was that big gap between a big group of people and a smaller group of people so I ran right through. Before I could get in place the sergeant was already cursing and swearing at me with the official SAF cuss word. I think what he said was along the lines of "You f**king idiot! F**king disrespect me right? F**k you!". After that he proceeded to give me a lesson on military ethics in front of the whole company. Which ended in me doing 20 push-ups and him telling me to f**k off. How the bloodyhell would I know that it was rude to cut a platoon? What I saw as the fastest way to my platoon the sergeant saw as an insult to him. This same sergeant would come up again later...so lets call him Sergeant Asshole.
7. I am not good a good arms IC. I must be blessed with a truckload of arseluck because I was chosen to be in charge of weapons. Which effectively means that if any weapons go missing, I'll be the one getting in trouble. And I'm under an arms sergeant. Which means that if I screw up he gets screwed too. Wanna guess who's the arms sergeant? Yep, its my favourite sergeant, Sergeant Asshole. I have no idea why I've been chosen to be in charge. I hate to be in charge of anything cause I'm already having problems keeping awake and you want me to keep track of weapons? Whenever my platoon draws arms I've gotta be at the armoury before anyone else. Which means I have to finish my breakfast faster than anyone else cause we usually draw arms after breakfast and I've gotta gobble up my dinner because we've got to send arms after dinner. I'm not a morning person and that's why I always wake up one whole hour before I need to leave the house even though I take only 20mins to prepare. I need time to clear the cobwebs of sleep before I can function properly. So how do you expect me to run around finding out who's drawing arms and who's not drawing so early in the morning? I admit it, I'm blur! I'm fucking blur! I'm ok with everything else but I don't know why I always screw up the arms book. And Sergeant Asshole is always chewing my ass off in the morning when we draw arms and in the evening when we send arms! Fuck! I can wake up wake up feeling good and all but after we draw arms I get a foul mood! The sergeant is fucking me upside down for being slow and happily asks me to give him 20 push ups while I'm correcting my mistakes. I mean fuck him! He's a fucked up person. Even my own platoon sergeant doesn't fuck people up like that but this seems to enjoy fucking people. Please excuse all the cuss words...I don't usually curse. I only do it when I'm pissed. And I get pissed whenever I see Sergeant Asshole. I do greet the other sergeants though we're not required to but just a friend 'hi'. I can't even be bothered to look at Asshole when he walks past. I remember recently Sergeant Asshole just pushed me and another guy aside when were in his way. He just shoved his way through. I wonder if his parents ever taught him the words 'excuse me'. I don't think much of him. He's just another scum who walks the Earth with the rest of us. Did I mention I don't like Sergeant Asshole?
8. I have learnt that people in the SAF use cuss words like how civillians use punctuation marks. My Company Sergeant Major tried to convince us during a lecture that 'f**k' is not a vulgar word. I don't usually swear that often unless I'm really pissed. But everyone in the company uses hokkien vulgarities with such ease that you'd think it was part of the English language.
9. I have learnt that my favourite cuss word in the army now is 'Na Beh!' even though I don't know what it means. My favourite cuss words used to be 'crap' or 'shit' but I guess my enviroment changed me a little. But I'm sure I'll be back to my normal self after BMT. It’s just not me to curse and swear.
1. I do not like to be told what to do and when to do it. It's my God given right as a human being to make decisions on my own.
2. The army is hell for people who embrace freedom. Eg. Me!
3. The army has a way of transforming even Einstein himself into blabbering idiot. I can feel my neurons have halved since I enlisted. And I enlisted on 24th June. That shows how effective the army is at making people stupid. Even now as I'm writing this entry, my brain feels numb. I haven't had any mental stimulation for the past 3 weeks! I haven't read anything since I enlisted. Not even a freaking piece of news article....NOTHING NATTA, ZILCH!!! I haven't pondered about anything for so long. I haven't even been able to fully comprehend the changes that have happened in my life since I enlisted. I hope this stupidity isn't permanent or else I'm gonna sue the SAF for this. Provided I'll be able to figure out what to charge them with(Forgive me I can't come up with any intelligent pun to go with this sentence...now do you see what they've done to me?).
4. The army has almost half a century's worth of experience on how to waste time. If I could consolidate all the time wasted sitting around when I was sick, I could've already read Homer's Illiad 3 times over. That's how much of my time they've wasted. After all the bad press that the army's been getting recently about losing recruits, they're now quite strict about not letting sick do ANY physical activity including READING. I was made to sit on the sidelines while my platoon was engaged in physical endurance training. I decided I had enough of sitting around falling asleep. So I walked up to my sergeant and asked if I could read a book. He glared at me and gave me a curt "NO!" and told me to sit back down with the others and continue watching the platoon sweat it out in the morning sun. I personally do not enjoy watching a bunch of guys running around soaked in sweat. I know it might turn some people on but I'd rather be caught watching my toenails grow.
5. I've never been so tired in my entire life. I was laughing when one of my older friends recounted how some people could fall asleep doing marching drills when he was in the army. But now I'm doing the same thing. I never knew I could fall asleep standing with my rifle in hand. Everyday is just a blur of activity. I wake at 0500hrs every morning and lights out is at 2230. If I'm lucky the people in my bunk would all be sleeping by that time. But most of the time they're holding a party till 2330. And I won't be able to fall asleep till 2330.
6. I have learnt that running through a gap(no matter how big) between a sergeant and his platoon is considered an insult to the sergeant. Sometime during the first week of BMT I accidentally came between a sergeant and his men. I was rushing to fall in with my platoon and the quickest route I saw was that big gap between a big group of people and a smaller group of people so I ran right through. Before I could get in place the sergeant was already cursing and swearing at me with the official SAF cuss word. I think what he said was along the lines of "You f**king idiot! F**king disrespect me right? F**k you!". After that he proceeded to give me a lesson on military ethics in front of the whole company. Which ended in me doing 20 push-ups and him telling me to f**k off. How the bloodyhell would I know that it was rude to cut a platoon? What I saw as the fastest way to my platoon the sergeant saw as an insult to him. This same sergeant would come up again later...so lets call him Sergeant Asshole.
7. I am not good a good arms IC. I must be blessed with a truckload of arseluck because I was chosen to be in charge of weapons. Which effectively means that if any weapons go missing, I'll be the one getting in trouble. And I'm under an arms sergeant. Which means that if I screw up he gets screwed too. Wanna guess who's the arms sergeant? Yep, its my favourite sergeant, Sergeant Asshole. I have no idea why I've been chosen to be in charge. I hate to be in charge of anything cause I'm already having problems keeping awake and you want me to keep track of weapons? Whenever my platoon draws arms I've gotta be at the armoury before anyone else. Which means I have to finish my breakfast faster than anyone else cause we usually draw arms after breakfast and I've gotta gobble up my dinner because we've got to send arms after dinner. I'm not a morning person and that's why I always wake up one whole hour before I need to leave the house even though I take only 20mins to prepare. I need time to clear the cobwebs of sleep before I can function properly. So how do you expect me to run around finding out who's drawing arms and who's not drawing so early in the morning? I admit it, I'm blur! I'm fucking blur! I'm ok with everything else but I don't know why I always screw up the arms book. And Sergeant Asshole is always chewing my ass off in the morning when we draw arms and in the evening when we send arms! Fuck! I can wake up wake up feeling good and all but after we draw arms I get a foul mood! The sergeant is fucking me upside down for being slow and happily asks me to give him 20 push ups while I'm correcting my mistakes. I mean fuck him! He's a fucked up person. Even my own platoon sergeant doesn't fuck people up like that but this seems to enjoy fucking people. Please excuse all the cuss words...I don't usually curse. I only do it when I'm pissed. And I get pissed whenever I see Sergeant Asshole. I do greet the other sergeants though we're not required to but just a friend 'hi'. I can't even be bothered to look at Asshole when he walks past. I remember recently Sergeant Asshole just pushed me and another guy aside when were in his way. He just shoved his way through. I wonder if his parents ever taught him the words 'excuse me'. I don't think much of him. He's just another scum who walks the Earth with the rest of us. Did I mention I don't like Sergeant Asshole?
8. I have learnt that people in the SAF use cuss words like how civillians use punctuation marks. My Company Sergeant Major tried to convince us during a lecture that 'f**k' is not a vulgar word. I don't usually swear that often unless I'm really pissed. But everyone in the company uses hokkien vulgarities with such ease that you'd think it was part of the English language.
9. I have learnt that my favourite cuss word in the army now is 'Na Beh!' even though I don't know what it means. My favourite cuss words used to be 'crap' or 'shit' but I guess my enviroment changed me a little. But I'm sure I'll be back to my normal self after BMT. It’s just not me to curse and swear.
posted by Ben at 3:06 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home